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When Do Tantrums Start In Toddlers?

Updated: Sep 23

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Have you ever found yourself in the middle of a toddler tantrum? It's a part of the early childhood experience that can be both challenging and puzzling for parents.


When do tantrums start? Many parents find themselves asking this question as their little ones begin to express big emotions in seemingly unpredictable ways.


Tantrums are a normal part of toddler development, but they often come as a surprise. In this article, we’ll explore the age at which tantrums typically begin, what causes them, and how parents can respond to their toddlers’ emotional outbursts. With the right strategies and support, tantrums can be a phase that toddlers grow through, not a battle to endure.


What Are Tantrums, and Why Do They Happen?


Tantrums are emotional outbursts that are often characterized by behaviors such as crying, yelling, throwing objects, kicking, or even hitting. For toddlers, these outbursts usually happen when they experience frustration, disappointment, or an inability to communicate their needs effectively.


At this stage, toddlers are learning how to express their desires, but they often lack the language skills to convey them clearly. This lack of communication, combined with their growing desire for independence, can lead to intense feelings of frustration, resulting in a tantrum.


While tantrums can be distressing for parents, they are a natural part of emotional and social development. The behavior typically peaks between the ages of one and three, though some children may experience it for a longer period.


When Do Tantrums Typically Begin?


Around what age do tantrums start? Generally, tantrums begin between 18 months and two years. This is when toddlers begin to experience rapid emotional and cognitive development.


During this phase, toddlers are asserting their independence, which leads to power struggles with their parents as they try to gain control over their world. Around this age, toddlers start to understand that they can control their actions, but they still lack the skills to handle complex emotions.


They may become upset when they can’t express themselves the way they want or when they are unable to do something on their own. This frustration often results in tantrums.


Though most toddlers experience tantrums during this period, it’s important to note that every child is different. Some children may show early signs of tantrums, such as mild irritability or frustration, while others may not exhibit full-blown meltdowns until later.


The Developmental Factors Behind Tantrums


A toddler’s developmental stage plays an important role in when tantrums occur and how severe they are. Let’s break this down.


Emotional Development


Toddlers are still learning how to manage their emotions. At around two years old, children are beginning to experience more complex feelings such as anger, frustration, and disappointment.


However, they don't yet have the tools to express these emotions in healthy ways, which leads to tantrums. They also struggle with emotional regulation, so when they experience big feelings, they have difficulty managing them.


Language Development


At the same time, toddlers are developing their language skills. However, they often don’t have the vocabulary to express what they want or need.


When they are unable to communicate effectively, frustration sets in, triggering a tantrum. As language skills develop, tantrums typically decrease because children become better equipped to express themselves.


Desire for Independence


A key milestone in toddlerhood is the growing desire for independence. Toddlers begin to assert themselves, wanting to do things on their own and make their own decisions.


When their desires are thwarted or when they are told "no," it can lead to feelings of helplessness, which result in tantrums. They may throw a tantrum because they can’t do something themselves or because they are not allowed to do something they want.


How to Respond to Tantrums


While tantrums are a natural part of toddler development, they can be stressful for both parents and children. The key to managing these emotional outbursts is understanding their root causes and responding with patience and consistency.


Stay Calm


The most important response to a tantrum is to stay calm. When parents react with anger or frustration, it can escalate the situation.


Children learn by observing their caregivers, and modeling calm behavior will help them learn to manage their own emotions. Even though it can be difficult, try to take deep breaths and remain composed when your child is having a meltdown.


Set Clear Boundaries


Toddlers are still learning the rules of the world, and they often test their limits. Consistently enforcing rules and expectations helps children understand what behavior is acceptable and what isn’t.


However, it’s important to remain flexible and recognize when a situation calls for compromise or when a child may need a break from a frustrating task.


Offer Comfort and Distraction


While setting boundaries is important, offering comfort and reassurance during a tantrum can also be helpful. After a tantrum subsides, hold your child or offer comforting words to help them feel secure. Distraction can also be effective, redirecting their attention to something else can help break the cycle of frustration.


Reinforce Positive Behavior


Praise and reinforce positive behavior when your child behaves well or expresses themselves in a calm manner. Positive reinforcement encourages toddlers to repeat the behavior they’ve been praised for, helping them learn healthier ways to express their emotions.


When Should You Be Concerned About Tantrums?


While tantrums are a normal part of childhood development, certain signs may indicate that a child’s tantrums are more than just a developmental phase. If tantrums become excessively frequent, intense, or last for a long time, it could be worth consulting a pediatrician or child development specialist.


For example, if your toddler's tantrums occur frequently without any identifiable triggers or seem disproportionate to the situation, it might suggest that there are other underlying concerns.


Children who display unusual behavior, such as aggression or extreme anxiety, may benefit from further evaluation. Early intervention can help manage behaviors before they become more challenging.


Getting the Right Support


Getting the answer to ‘when do temper tantrums start?’ and ‘why do they occur?’ is important for parents as they handle the often tumultuous toddler years.


While tantrums can be overwhelming, they are part of a child's emotional growth and self-regulation. With patience, consistency, and support, you can help your child through this phase and guide them toward better emotional expression.


If you find that your child's tantrums are becoming more difficult to manage or if you have concerns about their emotional or behavioral development, seeking guidance can be a helpful next step. At Innovative Interventions, we offer developmental intervention services to support families in dealing with challenging behaviors like tantrums.


We are here to help your child thrive and support you through every step of their developmental journey. If you have any concerns or need guidance on managing your child’s emotional behavior, reach out to us today.

 
 
 

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